Friday, September 6, 2019
Right now, for example, the rule solving the dishwasher crisis is opening for comment. Back in the 1970s and 80s dishwashers were an efficient product, cleaning the vestiges of last night’s dinner party off dishes and silverware in under an hour. Then regulations began, demanding less water be used, then less and less. The regulation specifically included a clause saying no later administration could roll it back.
As the water allowance shrinks, the dishes take longer and longer — two to three hours on average today. This great modern convenience has turned into a nuisance. The Trump people were committed to solve this problem, but how?
Here is the solution they came up with to try and outmaneuver the strictures of Bizarro World. First they ascertained that there were none of the old, fast washers in stock at any of the American manufacturers. Since there weren’t, they could now be reinvented. So the rule, now being moved through the comment process, says as follows: a new category will be recognized, under the heading “Fast Dishwashers,” defined as machines capable of completing a washing cycle in under 60 minutes.
The new category of “Fast Dishwashers” will not be subject to the restrictions extant on the plain vanilla category of “Dishwashers,” thus allowing them to use sufficient water to complete the load in an hour or less. After years of retreat from our inventions, we can now behave normally again — but only if we follow an abnormal yellow brick road that was paved back in the day when we thought Oz was really a Wizard and Sam was really an Uncle.
Next, washing machines and, dare we hope?, dryers.