The Right Coast

Editor: Thomas A. Smith
University of San Diego
School of Law

Sunday, August 11, 2019

I am willing to entertain your most insane conspiracy theories about Epstein's death

I’m not onboard with the Clinton theory, I must say. In fact, I’d encourage Bill and Hillary to put out this statement: “If we wanted to take him out, we would have gotten him on the first try.” I’m not onboard with the Trump/cabal/Saudi/Mossad theory either. My preferred insane explanation is that Epstein isn’t really dead. Remember, he’s a supervillain with his own island lair who wanted to seed the world with his DNA. If you know anything about movies, you know dudes like that are never dead the first time you think they are. Right now, I expect, the FBI is prying open the door of Epstein’s Rape Temple and discovering elaborate high-tech equipment labeled “CLONE MACHINE.” He’ll reemerge eventually in some global TV transmission demanding a trillion dollars or else he’ll blow up the sun or whatever.



| Permalink