The Right Coast

Editor: Thomas A. Smith
University of San Diego
School of Law

Friday, February 8, 2019

Jeff Bezos: Trump's friends at the Enquirer are blackmailing me over dick pics -- and it might be political

I am very excited for this new episode in our national drama, in which the world’s richest man publicly accuses allies of the president of extorting him with private photos of his genitalia if he doesn’t stop accusing them of politically driven hatchet jobs.


I am firmly of the opinion that Jeff Bezos must do whatever is necessary to keep these photos from becoming public. You can say I can just avert my eyes, but it's not that easy. The pics will be everywhere online if the Enquirer publishes them. Yes, you can say, what so bad about a dick pic?, and I agree with that. A penis is a penis, more or less. But I will respond, look at Jeff. The guy looks like a bit of a, well, freak, and as goes the man, so goes the dick. His head already looks like a penis. So what will his penis look like? A penis squared? A head? I don't want to know, and that's my right.

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