Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Death by mucus
Tom Smith

In a world where children are crushed by falling rubble, nobody has any right to complain about a cold, so let me stipulate I am not complaining.  In the tradition of the RC, I am just sayin' how it is.  How it is is that I have been, uh, experiencing a nasty cold that has just been going on and on and on, for maybe three weeks now.  I am really really tired of it.  Even my difficult to impress LWJ, who regularly sees patients on their way out, has been impressed by this cold.  She even called it "nasty" and has been very nice to me lately.  I renew my claim that "cold" is a wholly inadequate term to describe these occasional and much-reviled micro-parasitical infestations.  They need a more menacing name.  Indeed, what I have probably evolved from mere cold to sinus infection, one that Zithromax, a widely used antibiotic, seems to have helped some, but hardly eliminated.  LWJ and I now ponder whether to move up to the Antibiotic of Doom, whose medical name I forget, but which induces side effects including the eruption of false testicles from one's earlobes, speaking in tongues and faster than light travel.  Or something like that.  Not sure I'm quite up to it but I'm getting there.

When it comes to illness, I am a complete wuss and I admit it.  I can bear all sorts of suffering but I hate to feel less than just dandy.  I have never gotten much sympathy for being sick, which in fact until recently I rarely have been, or so I am told.  Rather than go to the doctor I just pester my wife with questions ("My elbow hurts.  What could that be?") until her patience is exhausted. I got a check up when I turned 50, my first in some 25 years. I was more or less fine. It made me think, jeeze, if I'm fine then sick people must really feel like shi*t (hope that works for you, Eric -- that's the clean version). When I had a sore throat or something similar as a child, my mother would make fun of me or insist I go to the doctor where I would receive penicillin hypodermically.  Say what you will, it certainly reduced any malingering.  

I can only conclude that many people must feel better than I do much of time, or else a lot of big jobs are not as hard as they look.  How does anybody run for office for example?  How could anybody spend all that time in hotels, speaking nonsense, eating bad food, and listening more or less to the sort of people that show up at campaign events?  I would last about three days before I needed several stiff drinks, my spa turned up high, and a few chapters of LOTR.  And that's without a cold.  I suppose a lot of these people do not have kids or if they do, don't see them, so that would free up quite a bit of energy.  The only thing productive about me these days is my nasal membranes.

On that cheery note, let me recommend this disgusting but effective item, mentioned to me by a student to whom I am grateful.  It provides temporary relief as so much relief is.


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Tom Smith


Time for levaquin!!!

Posted by: john knox | Feb 17, 2010 6:02:25 AM

yeah that's it. Maybe so.

Posted by: Tom Smith | Feb 17, 2010 7:22:24 AM

which induces side effects including the eruption of false testicles from one's earlobes, speaking in tongues and faster than light travel. Or something like that. Not sure I'm quite up to it but I'm getting there.dunk shoes
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Posted by: dunk shoes | Apr 8, 2010 2:30:35 AM