The Right Coast

Editor: Thomas A. Smith
University of San Diego
School of Law

A Member of the Law Professor Blogs Network

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Mothers who regret having children are speaking up like never before

At first glance, Amy* is like many busy young moms—she’s 34, lives in Alberta, works full-time and is devoted to her five-year-old. “I love my son with all my heart,” she says. “My life revolves around this child.” Four nights a week from May to June are spent at a sports field, she says. “All his schoolmates do it, so if he doesn’t, he’s left out.”

When discussing motherhood, however, Amy deviates from the maternal script: if she could make that choice over again, she says, she wouldn’t. She never wanted children (“I was very independent,” she says)—her husband did. “It would have been a deal-breaker.” Parenthood put an untenable strain on the marriage; her husband wasn’t as involved as she wanted; they separated. Life is difficult, Amy reports: “Our child has two homes and I’m still doing 90 per cent of it on my own.”

Amy’s candour is part of a growing yet contentious conversation about parental regret, one primarily focused on mothers. Social media provides one hub, from the 9,000-member Facebook group “I regret having children” (on which “Warren Chansky” posted: “I hated being a father and I don’t like the people my kids have become”) to a Facebook community with more than 2,600 members founded by Lauren Byrne, a 32-year-old ER nurse and mother of two who lives in Newfoundland. Byrne doesn’t regret having children, she tells Maclean’s, though women on the site say they do.

via www.macleans.ca

Gadzooks.

http://rightcoast.typepad.com/rightcoast/2018/01/mothers-who-regret-having-children-are-speaking-up-like-never-before.html

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Comments

“I hated being a father and I don’t like the people my kids have become” Coincidence?

Posted by: Jms | Jan 11, 2018 5:14:06 PM

May I point out that "like never before" is gruesome English? Heshooda said "as never before". It saves ink too. Or electrons, as the case may be.

Posted by: dearieme | Jan 12, 2018 4:24:15 PM